Day Eighteen- The Man

The last thing any American thinks about is how susceptible we are when it comes to capitalist exposure. The system of free enterprise that apparently suits our country so well, is a flawed system with room for a plethora of errors. In short, America needs to get it's head out of it's ass and pull itself together. 

When I was a senior in high school, the biggest triumph at hand was the inauguration of our beloved Commander in Chief. It seemed as if hope was radiating out of every pore in his body. The freshman could be heard arguing over the deficit, when half of them weren't even sure as to the meaning. The sophomore's sat unscathed, passing notes or shouting obscenities in hopes of attention. Juniors, oh predictable juniors, proceeded with obnoxious and badgering racism. And my class of intellectually developed Neanderthals could feel a sense of change from our sweaty fingertips to our overanxious groins. 

When Obama came into the coveted throne of Presidency, hope swept the nation. American's had faith in their country again and the energy was nothing short of contagious. But as time went on, Obama began to lose the faith of his new followers. 

Popularity diminished as the age old topic of money came into play. As it stands today, we still owe China $1.164 trillion, out of 4.3 trillion that we owe to other countries. And according to statistics, we have spent $830.2 billion dollars on the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Not to mention $77.1 billion dollars we requested in the recent supplemental that extended further funding to these wars, for a total of $907.3 billion dollars... $907.3 billion dollars we don't technically have.  

Besides the good and bad our country has been through in the years: through Clinton, Bush, Bush (AGAIN, don't ask me why) and Obama (the great black hope) America's capitalist structure has been assaulting and insulting its citizens. The banks write up loans, and pool the money into funds, decoupling them from the loan originator, and selling them on the open market over and over again.  The oil industry, the insurance industry, the drug industry, the food industry...I mean pick one and there's probably an obvious symptom showing that it's hostile to the common man.

According to this Engladian, America is going to the dogs. Advice- get out while you can or help reform this fucked up country! We are the voices of tomorrow and the less we speak out, the less influence our rights have. Use the rights that those old guys in wigs gave you! As for me, I will be checking up on the benefits of dual citizenship.

Day Seventeen- Unspoken Behaviors

The nice old lady in the grocery store secretly wants you dead because you took the last 2% gallon of milk. Your younger sibling secretly admires you, but they'd never give you the satisfaction of saying it out loud. And your best friend will scream at you inadvertently behind the boarders of silent cowardice.

Sometimes, no one will put into words what they are truly feeling... bottled emotions are easier to deal with than the brunt of raw emotions. Dealing with someone face to face is easier said than done when it comes to anything emotionally compromising; consequently, most of us try to avoid it.
Recently, I've been struggling with a friend of mine. I don't even think she realized the tension until recently. Amidst all the particulars, she treats me like crap. I've been ignored, demeaned, and yelled at for caring. I have defended her on countless occasions because she was my friend. On several occasions, I've had some strong words with A. about her, defending her blindly....until I couldn't take it anymore. I let her know that she needed to start treating me like a friend and contact me when she was ready. That was a month ago. And still nothing.

What hurts the most is that I defended her. And now I'm not even sure if she'd extend the same courtesy to me.

But through all the bull shit and drama, I still find myself missing her. I want to call her...apologize like I always do.... I won't, though. Not this time.

So dear reader, listen and listen good. If you have a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, or co-worker that doesn't treat you how you deserve, stand up and be heard. Don't think you have to take it. Otherwise the marks from the stampede running all over you, will be permanent.

Day Sixteen- The Normalcy

Last night....was a blast; and yet these Jagermeister sunglasses don't predict much bliss out of my morning. Freshly squeezed orange juice? Forget it....I feel like I've been freshly squeezed of all my energy. People calling in with their inane questions and needs but do my callers give a crap about my needs? No. Selfish bastards.

I was almost late to work this morning which started the day off on the wrong foot altogether. Wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday, I can sniff out that stale smell of beer and smoke. I left the boyfriend curled up in bed, sleeping peacefully which is where I SHOULD be right now. But instead I am booking people for tours that I would never have the money to take. (Little do they know I get them for free ;)

This brings up a topic that A. and I were discussing last night...and that is the concept of a perfect world. Out on the steps of my apartment building, we talked about how in our perfect world we would get paid just to be....or if we were able to backpack around Europe...I could sell my writings and we would be vagabonds... not having to deal with the harsh consequences that are realistically a possibility. Life without responsibilities, ties and unnecessary attachments.

Seriously, think about it! If we had the freedom to do what really made us happy and if we were able to get by comfortably, the world would be a much happier place. Artists and actors wouldn't have to worry about where their next job was coming from. Musicians would play just for the hell of it, ignoring the common cookie-cutter genres that limit today's tunes. The suits would have the freedom to lay down the cell phone and lap top and use the passion they ignored in business school. And women wouldn't feel pressured to be an over-the-top feminist or a busty bimbo.

If only the world were perfect. There would be no need for religion, politics, currency or Starbucks. But until our versions of the perfect world are made a reality we have to live in a state of constant imperfect. At least we have a few vices in there to help spice up the normalcy, am I right?

Hope y'all had a good weekend, readers. Over and out!

Day Fifteen- The Perplexities of the Average Female

In my line of work, women are the prominent sex and to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it. Travel agents, marketing managers, reservation agents, different cooperate businesses.... most times I communicate with these groups during business hours, a woman is on the other line of the phone.

A favorite radio station of mine reported that while women were assumed to be good bosses in the work place (more compassionate and empathetic) the statistics proved assumptions wrong. Most women who held management positions or ranks of importance were shown to have what is called, "Queen Bee Syndrome." This is when a woman gets protective of her position...she becomes bossy, irate, hard to communicate with as well as transforming into a back-stabbing bitch. Serious symptoms, eh? The conclusion to this state of mind is that positions of leadership in the work place are harder to find for women, so once they obtain that coveted title, they will do anything in their power to keep it.

In the time that I have worked here, I have seen good and bad examples of the average working woman. My bosses are bright, upbeat fashionistas who are friendly, keep the work place fun, and yet when it comes down to it, business is business. While I lucked out, some of our travel agencies have not. We deal with women who seem to be on a constant red streak, if you know what I mean. Mother nature was not kind to their hormonal balancing. (Maybe that's why so many women now-a-days are medicated). Some are quiet and non-assertive. Some have no personality at all.

I have very little faith in humanity, as most of my friends can attest. Occasionally, I hold even less faith in women in particular. Our logic makes no sense...we hold petty grudges, find competition in every woman we meet (especially in the work place) and we are rarely secure in the person we are. We find personal imperfections then become convinced that the person who we are is so seriously flawed that alteration is the only solution to obtain that perfection. This is why I lose faith. There is no confidence any more! Women need to find that balance between the self-obsessed and self-conscious. A happy medium of the self-aware.

So women, if you are feeling less than gorgeous, and high, and true, and fine, and fluffy, and moist, and sticky, and lovely ( <3 you A.K!)....I challenge you this. For each imperfection you find, you have to find something you would never change about yourself. Something totally rad, as A would say. Lets stage a revolution against self doubt! Viva la Revolution!

Day Fourteen- The Daring Duo

Tonight was a night that should be written down. Documented. Remembered.

When I got home from A's house this afternoon I wasn't planning to leave the house again. It had been a long day and I wanted nothing more than to curl up on my bed in that spot where the sun always hits at that time of day.

My cat nap was soon interrupted by my best friend and her boyfriend. I can't say I didnt have a smile on my face when he left. I was happy to have E. to myself.

The night flew by in a typical fashion: make some food, watch a movie...and then when we were participating in a favorite illegal pastime, we decided to take a spur of the moment trip to the store then out to our favorite look out point over the ocean. It's summer here so the sunsets happen at one in the morning.

As soon as we parked, we cracked open the snacks and proceeded with our previous amusement. Not 5 minutes later, flashes of blue and red reflected off my rear view mirror and immediately sent my nervous system on a frenzy.

Trying not to move our upper bodies, we moved our hands to cover evidence. I could hear the chips getting crushed in the rumpled Safeway bag, but then again, every sound was piercing my ears.

A knock on my window. Shit

The cop proceeded to tell us that the parking area was closed. We handed over our ID's. As I passed over my insurance, I prayed to god that my check for this month's insurance had processed.

"Do you have a driver's license, Miss?"

My heart froze. "Is that not it?"

"No.."

I shuffled through my wallet. Nothing.

"Do you have a current drivers licence?"

"Yes." I just didn't know where it was.

He returned to his car and with each step he took, my heart slowed a beat. I glanced over at E. Her eyes were that of a deer-caught-in-head-lights. I imagined my face looked about the same.

Long story short, we were let off scott free. We promised him we'd vamoose, but he didn't have to know we were doing a victory dance as we did so. So back at home are we, and I....am now going to look for my drivers license!

Day Whatever- Being a Good Person 101

Parents do their best to instill in us how to be good people, fully equipped with a spot-on moral compass and impecable integrity. When we pass on into our schooling years we are trained to follow instructions, how to memorize, and the beloved phrase "STOP! and think!" was drilled into our heads. As we grow older, we realize that these are simply guidlines we were set up to follow from infancy. Whether we follow them accordingly isn't really an issue. It's an implied standard.

Today, I have been a good person. Well, according to my exterior I have.

My boyfriend and I had been planning on attending this BBQ our friend was throwing- a couple beers, some steaks...sounded like a good time so we said yes. Today, A. texts me informing me that he wouldn't be going-he wanted to go out and get trashed with a couple of co-workers. And I know you're thinking to yourself, "oh poor you *insert sarcastic eye roll here* suck it up" and I completely understand. I would probably say the same thing to me. But what upsets me more than anything is that now I am a gimp again- crutches, badanges around my foot, limited mobility and anitbotics being pumped through my chest via wires. When A. came to see me during my hospitalization, you could tell it really upset him to be there.

Thinking nothing of it, here we are a day after my discharge and he would rather be out drinking. I think I've pinpointed the reason why- I, Grace the invalid, am no fun.

When A. didn't invite me to drink with his buddies, like he usually would, it suddenly hit me that he can't forget about work when he feels he needs to keep me happy. Keep me from feeling sorry for myself, cheering me up, etc. He needs a chance to forget his worries and he can't do that with me there...not like this.

In the hospital, don't get me wrong, I WASN'T any fun. I was depressed I was there AGAIN. Tied up from being social and healthy. I hated it. A. tried to comfort me, "You'll be out soon," "You'll be ok," yada yada yada. It just made me feel more helpless.

I understand where he is coming from without him having to say it-he's too sweet to say it outright. So, as an attempt to be a good girlfriend and person, I told him to have fun. On the inside, I hate that I'm alone tonight. Sacrifice or lack of lady balls?

Neither. He works hard and deserves fun. I just hate that I can't give him that right now...

So- the key to being a good person? Apparently today it consists of more bottled feelings and forced smiles

Day Thirteen- Oh Tourists

Tourists are an interesting breed. They ask questions that seem completely ridiculous to locals. As a reservation agent, I hear a lot of bizarre questions every day that I thought some of you might find funny.

*Foreign lady- "I don't get bananas...why are there so many na na's?"

*Texan tourist; "What do you call these white birds out in the harbor?"
  Local: "Well usually we call them sea gulls when they're out at sea, but since these are in the bay we call them 'baygels'.

*"Oooh! Honey, look at the moose terd!"

*"Do you spray paint your glaciers blue?"

*"How far is the dock above sea level?"


Comment with stupid tourist blips that you have heard in your area...I want to see if Alaskan tourists are just as stupid as other breeds ;)