The nice old lady in the grocery store secretly wants you dead because you took the last 2% gallon of milk. Your younger sibling secretly admires you, but they'd never give you the satisfaction of saying it out loud. And your best friend will scream at you inadvertently behind the boarders of silent cowardice.
Sometimes, no one will put into words what they are truly feeling... bottled emotions are easier to deal with than the brunt of raw emotions. Dealing with someone face to face is easier said than done when it comes to anything emotionally compromising; consequently, most of us try to avoid it.
Recently, I've been struggling with a friend of mine. I don't even think she realized the tension until recently. Amidst all the particulars, she treats me like crap. I've been ignored, demeaned, and yelled at for caring. I have defended her on countless occasions because she was my friend. On several occasions, I've had some strong words with A. about her, defending her blindly....until I couldn't take it anymore. I let her know that she needed to start treating me like a friend and contact me when she was ready. That was a month ago. And still nothing.
What hurts the most is that I defended her. And now I'm not even sure if she'd extend the same courtesy to me.
But through all the bull shit and drama, I still find myself missing her. I want to call her...apologize like I always do.... I won't, though. Not this time.
So dear reader, listen and listen good. If you have a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, or co-worker that doesn't treat you how you deserve, stand up and be heard. Don't think you have to take it. Otherwise the marks from the stampede running all over you, will be permanent.
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