In my line of work, women are the prominent sex and to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it. Travel agents, marketing managers, reservation agents, different cooperate businesses.... most times I communicate with these groups during business hours, a woman is on the other line of the phone.
A favorite radio station of mine reported that while women were assumed to be good bosses in the work place (more compassionate and empathetic) the statistics proved assumptions wrong. Most women who held management positions or ranks of importance were shown to have what is called, "Queen Bee Syndrome." This is when a woman gets protective of her position...she becomes bossy, irate, hard to communicate with as well as transforming into a back-stabbing bitch. Serious symptoms, eh? The conclusion to this state of mind is that positions of leadership in the work place are harder to find for women, so once they obtain that coveted title, they will do anything in their power to keep it.
In the time that I have worked here, I have seen good and bad examples of the average working woman. My bosses are bright, upbeat fashionistas who are friendly, keep the work place fun, and yet when it comes down to it, business is business. While I lucked out, some of our travel agencies have not. We deal with women who seem to be on a constant red streak, if you know what I mean. Mother nature was not kind to their hormonal balancing. (Maybe that's why so many women now-a-days are medicated). Some are quiet and non-assertive. Some have no personality at all.
I have very little faith in humanity, as most of my friends can attest. Occasionally, I hold even less faith in women in particular. Our logic makes no sense...we hold petty grudges, find competition in every woman we meet (especially in the work place) and we are rarely secure in the person we are. We find personal imperfections then become convinced that the person who we are is so seriously flawed that alteration is the only solution to obtain that perfection. This is why I lose faith. There is no confidence any more! Women need to find that balance between the self-obsessed and self-conscious. A happy medium of the self-aware.
So women, if you are feeling less than gorgeous, and high, and true, and fine, and fluffy, and moist, and sticky, and lovely ( <3 you A.K!)....I challenge you this. For each imperfection you find, you have to find something you would never change about yourself. Something totally rad, as A would say. Lets stage a revolution against self doubt! Viva la Revolution!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Day Fourteen- The Daring Duo
Tonight was a night that should be written down. Documented. Remembered.
When I got home from A's house this afternoon I wasn't planning to leave the house again. It had been a long day and I wanted nothing more than to curl up on my bed in that spot where the sun always hits at that time of day.
My cat nap was soon interrupted by my best friend and her boyfriend. I can't say I didnt have a smile on my face when he left. I was happy to have E. to myself.
The night flew by in a typical fashion: make some food, watch a movie...and then when we were participating in a favorite illegal pastime, we decided to take a spur of the moment trip to the store then out to our favorite look out point over the ocean. It's summer here so the sunsets happen at one in the morning.
As soon as we parked, we cracked open the snacks and proceeded with our previous amusement. Not 5 minutes later, flashes of blue and red reflected off my rear view mirror and immediately sent my nervous system on a frenzy.
Trying not to move our upper bodies, we moved our hands to cover evidence. I could hear the chips getting crushed in the rumpled Safeway bag, but then again, every sound was piercing my ears.
A knock on my window. Shit
The cop proceeded to tell us that the parking area was closed. We handed over our ID's. As I passed over my insurance, I prayed to god that my check for this month's insurance had processed.
"Do you have a driver's license, Miss?"
My heart froze. "Is that not it?"
"No.."
I shuffled through my wallet. Nothing.
"Do you have a current drivers licence?"
"Yes." I just didn't know where it was.
He returned to his car and with each step he took, my heart slowed a beat. I glanced over at E. Her eyes were that of a deer-caught-in-head-lights. I imagined my face looked about the same.
Long story short, we were let off scott free. We promised him we'd vamoose, but he didn't have to know we were doing a victory dance as we did so. So back at home are we, and I....am now going to look for my drivers license!
When I got home from A's house this afternoon I wasn't planning to leave the house again. It had been a long day and I wanted nothing more than to curl up on my bed in that spot where the sun always hits at that time of day.
My cat nap was soon interrupted by my best friend and her boyfriend. I can't say I didnt have a smile on my face when he left. I was happy to have E. to myself.
The night flew by in a typical fashion: make some food, watch a movie...and then when we were participating in a favorite illegal pastime, we decided to take a spur of the moment trip to the store then out to our favorite look out point over the ocean. It's summer here so the sunsets happen at one in the morning.
As soon as we parked, we cracked open the snacks and proceeded with our previous amusement. Not 5 minutes later, flashes of blue and red reflected off my rear view mirror and immediately sent my nervous system on a frenzy.
Trying not to move our upper bodies, we moved our hands to cover evidence. I could hear the chips getting crushed in the rumpled Safeway bag, but then again, every sound was piercing my ears.
A knock on my window. Shit
The cop proceeded to tell us that the parking area was closed. We handed over our ID's. As I passed over my insurance, I prayed to god that my check for this month's insurance had processed.
"Do you have a driver's license, Miss?"
My heart froze. "Is that not it?"
"No.."
I shuffled through my wallet. Nothing.
"Do you have a current drivers licence?"
"Yes." I just didn't know where it was.
He returned to his car and with each step he took, my heart slowed a beat. I glanced over at E. Her eyes were that of a deer-caught-in-head-lights. I imagined my face looked about the same.
Long story short, we were let off scott free. We promised him we'd vamoose, but he didn't have to know we were doing a victory dance as we did so. So back at home are we, and I....am now going to look for my drivers license!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Day Whatever- Being a Good Person 101
Parents do their best to instill in us how to be good people, fully equipped with a spot-on moral compass and impecable integrity. When we pass on into our schooling years we are trained to follow instructions, how to memorize, and the beloved phrase "STOP! and think!" was drilled into our heads. As we grow older, we realize that these are simply guidlines we were set up to follow from infancy. Whether we follow them accordingly isn't really an issue. It's an implied standard.
Today, I have been a good person. Well, according to my exterior I have.
My boyfriend and I had been planning on attending this BBQ our friend was throwing- a couple beers, some steaks...sounded like a good time so we said yes. Today, A. texts me informing me that he wouldn't be going-he wanted to go out and get trashed with a couple of co-workers. And I know you're thinking to yourself, "oh poor you *insert sarcastic eye roll here* suck it up" and I completely understand. I would probably say the same thing to me. But what upsets me more than anything is that now I am a gimp again- crutches, badanges around my foot, limited mobility and anitbotics being pumped through my chest via wires. When A. came to see me during my hospitalization, you could tell it really upset him to be there.
Thinking nothing of it, here we are a day after my discharge and he would rather be out drinking. I think I've pinpointed the reason why- I, Grace the invalid, am no fun.
When A. didn't invite me to drink with his buddies, like he usually would, it suddenly hit me that he can't forget about work when he feels he needs to keep me happy. Keep me from feeling sorry for myself, cheering me up, etc. He needs a chance to forget his worries and he can't do that with me there...not like this.
In the hospital, don't get me wrong, I WASN'T any fun. I was depressed I was there AGAIN. Tied up from being social and healthy. I hated it. A. tried to comfort me, "You'll be out soon," "You'll be ok," yada yada yada. It just made me feel more helpless.
I understand where he is coming from without him having to say it-he's too sweet to say it outright. So, as an attempt to be a good girlfriend and person, I told him to have fun. On the inside, I hate that I'm alone tonight. Sacrifice or lack of lady balls?
Neither. He works hard and deserves fun. I just hate that I can't give him that right now...
So- the key to being a good person? Apparently today it consists of more bottled feelings and forced smiles
Today, I have been a good person. Well, according to my exterior I have.
My boyfriend and I had been planning on attending this BBQ our friend was throwing- a couple beers, some steaks...sounded like a good time so we said yes. Today, A. texts me informing me that he wouldn't be going-he wanted to go out and get trashed with a couple of co-workers. And I know you're thinking to yourself, "oh poor you *insert sarcastic eye roll here* suck it up" and I completely understand. I would probably say the same thing to me. But what upsets me more than anything is that now I am a gimp again- crutches, badanges around my foot, limited mobility and anitbotics being pumped through my chest via wires. When A. came to see me during my hospitalization, you could tell it really upset him to be there.
Thinking nothing of it, here we are a day after my discharge and he would rather be out drinking. I think I've pinpointed the reason why- I, Grace the invalid, am no fun.
When A. didn't invite me to drink with his buddies, like he usually would, it suddenly hit me that he can't forget about work when he feels he needs to keep me happy. Keep me from feeling sorry for myself, cheering me up, etc. He needs a chance to forget his worries and he can't do that with me there...not like this.
In the hospital, don't get me wrong, I WASN'T any fun. I was depressed I was there AGAIN. Tied up from being social and healthy. I hated it. A. tried to comfort me, "You'll be out soon," "You'll be ok," yada yada yada. It just made me feel more helpless.
I understand where he is coming from without him having to say it-he's too sweet to say it outright. So, as an attempt to be a good girlfriend and person, I told him to have fun. On the inside, I hate that I'm alone tonight. Sacrifice or lack of lady balls?
Neither. He works hard and deserves fun. I just hate that I can't give him that right now...
So- the key to being a good person? Apparently today it consists of more bottled feelings and forced smiles
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Day Thirteen- Oh Tourists
Tourists are an interesting breed. They ask questions that seem completely ridiculous to locals. As a reservation agent, I hear a lot of bizarre questions every day that I thought some of you might find funny.
*Foreign lady- "I don't get bananas...why are there so many na na's?"
*Texan tourist; "What do you call these white birds out in the harbor?"
Local: "Well usually we call them sea gulls when they're out at sea, but since these are in the bay we call them 'baygels'.
*"Oooh! Honey, look at the moose terd!"
*"Do you spray paint your glaciers blue?"
*"How far is the dock above sea level?"
Comment with stupid tourist blips that you have heard in your area...I want to see if Alaskan tourists are just as stupid as other breeds ;)
*Foreign lady- "I don't get bananas...why are there so many na na's?"
*Texan tourist; "What do you call these white birds out in the harbor?"
Local: "Well usually we call them sea gulls when they're out at sea, but since these are in the bay we call them 'baygels'.
*"Oooh! Honey, look at the moose terd!"
*"Do you spray paint your glaciers blue?"
*"How far is the dock above sea level?"
Comment with stupid tourist blips that you have heard in your area...I want to see if Alaskan tourists are just as stupid as other breeds ;)
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Day Twelve- "The Working Poor"
My mother told me, when I began my life as an independent woman, that I was the perfect example of the working poor. I asked her what she meant by this and she told me that no matter how hard you work and how much money you make, unless you set aside money you will always be living from pay check to pay check. I hate that she knew exactly where I was at in life.
My mother has always been a perceptive individual. As much as I hate to admit it, she's one of the three people who fully understands me. And I didn't want to admit that she was right. But... well.
I have never had more than a couple cents in my bank account when the first week after payday rolls around. I begin to get desperate: gas, food and other necessities become precious commodities and my ego plummets to my gut, proceeding to fall out my ass.
Yesterday was one of the worst days yet. My gas light turned on as I went to work. A. called me to pick him up from work, once I got home. In a desperate attempt to make it to A., I faked crocodile tears so a very large black man would spare $5.00 for gas. Once I picked him up, my summer tires began to loosen. I texted my best friend for someone besides A. to talk to, but she didn't answer. Sunglasses did a poor job at hiding my tears of frustration and no matter how I tried to hide them, A. caught sight of them.
Once we got home, he made me tea and just held me. He proceeded to tell me how much he loved me and how we would keep each other afloat. I suppose he meant well. As much as I wished his words would bring me comfort, they made me feel even weaker. Staying afloat didn't sound stable to me. My life itself isn't stable I suppose.
I think at that point, I didn't even have to tell him my "crocodile tears" were 100% genuine.
When I got home that night, I walked past my roomate and her boyfriend, bid them goodnight and crawled under the covers, clothes and all. Cacooning myself in my sheets, I began to sob into my pillow. Why did everything bad have to happen at once?
Please, dear reader, don't mistake me. I don't want you to think I ask for pity. And my situation may not even seem that bad to some of you that have gone through worse. A factor in all situations however is that sinking feeling of hopelessness.
What I do want to try and convey to you is that you are human. Shit happens. But no matter how frustrated you get, remember it could be worse. Surround yourself with people who love you. Drink some tea. Smoke a cigarette. Just let go, relax and keep your head up.
Or listen to Bob Marley ;)
My mother has always been a perceptive individual. As much as I hate to admit it, she's one of the three people who fully understands me. And I didn't want to admit that she was right. But... well.
I have never had more than a couple cents in my bank account when the first week after payday rolls around. I begin to get desperate: gas, food and other necessities become precious commodities and my ego plummets to my gut, proceeding to fall out my ass.
Yesterday was one of the worst days yet. My gas light turned on as I went to work. A. called me to pick him up from work, once I got home. In a desperate attempt to make it to A., I faked crocodile tears so a very large black man would spare $5.00 for gas. Once I picked him up, my summer tires began to loosen. I texted my best friend for someone besides A. to talk to, but she didn't answer. Sunglasses did a poor job at hiding my tears of frustration and no matter how I tried to hide them, A. caught sight of them.
Once we got home, he made me tea and just held me. He proceeded to tell me how much he loved me and how we would keep each other afloat. I suppose he meant well. As much as I wished his words would bring me comfort, they made me feel even weaker. Staying afloat didn't sound stable to me. My life itself isn't stable I suppose.
I think at that point, I didn't even have to tell him my "crocodile tears" were 100% genuine.
When I got home that night, I walked past my roomate and her boyfriend, bid them goodnight and crawled under the covers, clothes and all. Cacooning myself in my sheets, I began to sob into my pillow. Why did everything bad have to happen at once?
Please, dear reader, don't mistake me. I don't want you to think I ask for pity. And my situation may not even seem that bad to some of you that have gone through worse. A factor in all situations however is that sinking feeling of hopelessness.
What I do want to try and convey to you is that you are human. Shit happens. But no matter how frustrated you get, remember it could be worse. Surround yourself with people who love you. Drink some tea. Smoke a cigarette. Just let go, relax and keep your head up.
Or listen to Bob Marley ;)
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Day Eleven- Routine
Routine is a word that can comfort one person and yet completely disrupt another.
I like to think I straddle the line. I love coming home from work to relax for a period of time. Heading to the gym. Pushing a pencil. These are the things I like garunteed in my life.
And yet, I still love the adventures taken on pure whimsical fancies and spontaneous moments of life.
Last night, I was hanging out with my roomate and best friend, E. We were exhausted from a day of doing nothing all afternoon and our eyelids felt weighted down by anvils. Then I got a call. A. informed me he was on his way over. I glanced over at my laptop: 12:30. I had to work at 7am this morning. What could he possibly need at this time of night?
"You'll see," was all he said when I questioned his motives.
Ten minutes dragged on. Tick by tick, I fidgeted awaiting my man. Finally, he rolled his old Ford into the driveway. As I buzzed him in and turned the corner to meet him, I saw a Safeway select pizza and a boquet of a dozen red long stemmed roses. I could feel the stupid grin spread across my face, but I made no attempt to supress it.
I could stay awake for this.
What makes this situation even better is in the first six months A. and I were dating, I bought him roses in an attempt to be romantically spontaneous and non-conformist. I left them on his door step with a love letter. He still has the dried roses.
For those of you who are convinced there is not one romantic bone in your body, please stop reading at this point.
But in all seriousness, I have never felt this way before. Waiting on pins and needles just to hear one word. One whisper from this person. You can't wait to see them even though you can count the hours you have been apart on one hand. Heart strings still get tugged, letting loose the butterflies that have been inhabiting your stomach from day one. And knowing that they feel the exact same way? It brings such a state of bittersweet bewilderment and assurance. It's a good feeling.
So, today dear reader,make time in your routines for love. It can't be planned so don't bother penciling it in. Just let it happen.
<3
I like to think I straddle the line. I love coming home from work to relax for a period of time. Heading to the gym. Pushing a pencil. These are the things I like garunteed in my life.
And yet, I still love the adventures taken on pure whimsical fancies and spontaneous moments of life.
Last night, I was hanging out with my roomate and best friend, E. We were exhausted from a day of doing nothing all afternoon and our eyelids felt weighted down by anvils. Then I got a call. A. informed me he was on his way over. I glanced over at my laptop: 12:30. I had to work at 7am this morning. What could he possibly need at this time of night?
"You'll see," was all he said when I questioned his motives.
Ten minutes dragged on. Tick by tick, I fidgeted awaiting my man. Finally, he rolled his old Ford into the driveway. As I buzzed him in and turned the corner to meet him, I saw a Safeway select pizza and a boquet of a dozen red long stemmed roses. I could feel the stupid grin spread across my face, but I made no attempt to supress it.
I could stay awake for this.
What makes this situation even better is in the first six months A. and I were dating, I bought him roses in an attempt to be romantically spontaneous and non-conformist. I left them on his door step with a love letter. He still has the dried roses.
For those of you who are convinced there is not one romantic bone in your body, please stop reading at this point.
But in all seriousness, I have never felt this way before. Waiting on pins and needles just to hear one word. One whisper from this person. You can't wait to see them even though you can count the hours you have been apart on one hand. Heart strings still get tugged, letting loose the butterflies that have been inhabiting your stomach from day one. And knowing that they feel the exact same way? It brings such a state of bittersweet bewilderment and assurance. It's a good feeling.
So, today dear reader,make time in your routines for love. It can't be planned so don't bother penciling it in. Just let it happen.
<3
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Day Ten- Success
My wonderful roommate and best friend has proven to be a walking archives of useful information. Last night, just as the night was winding down, she gave me a packet that her boss had given her earlier that day.
"A lot of useful tips in there," she said.
The "packet" was four pages folded over to mimic a book. The title read: Secrets to Success. It spoke about self-motivation, positivity, and being a go-getter (except it sounded less archaic and cliche). It recommended setting goals for yourself and doing everything in your power to accomplish them because "your biggest asset and hindrance in success is yourself." So, here are my goals.
One year from now
1. Finish my book
2. Work for the University paper one more time
3. Save up enough money to get a place with A.
4. Go back to school
5. Make enough money not to worry about bills
6. Lose 25 lbs.
7. Be a better sister/girlfriend
8. Sky diving
9. Hot air balloon ride
10. Get another tattoo
5 years from now
1. Living with/Married to A.
2. Living in British Columbia
3. Backpack Europe (or at least Ireland)
4. Visit St. Paul's cathedral where Princess Di got married to Charles
5. Drink a Guinness in an Irish or German pub
6. Own a truck
7. Write a best seller or an erotic novel
8. Speak another language fluently
9. Teach piano lessons
10. Get another tattoo
Haha quite the to do list eh?
Anyway, dear reader, I want you to do what I just did, or at least get an idea of what you want to accomplish personally. Balance out personal goals with work goals and success will be biting at your heels. At least that's what the packet told me. And that's what I'm hoping for. So good luck! I'm off to work on my list....right after I finish my coffee....!
"A lot of useful tips in there," she said.
The "packet" was four pages folded over to mimic a book. The title read: Secrets to Success. It spoke about self-motivation, positivity, and being a go-getter (except it sounded less archaic and cliche). It recommended setting goals for yourself and doing everything in your power to accomplish them because "your biggest asset and hindrance in success is yourself." So, here are my goals.
One year from now
1. Finish my book
2. Work for the University paper one more time
3. Save up enough money to get a place with A.
4. Go back to school
5. Make enough money not to worry about bills
6. Lose 25 lbs.
7. Be a better sister/girlfriend
8. Sky diving
9. Hot air balloon ride
10. Get another tattoo
5 years from now
1. Living with/Married to A.
2. Living in British Columbia
3. Backpack Europe (or at least Ireland)
4. Visit St. Paul's cathedral where Princess Di got married to Charles
5. Drink a Guinness in an Irish or German pub
6. Own a truck
7. Write a best seller or an erotic novel
8. Speak another language fluently
9. Teach piano lessons
10. Get another tattoo
Haha quite the to do list eh?
Anyway, dear reader, I want you to do what I just did, or at least get an idea of what you want to accomplish personally. Balance out personal goals with work goals and success will be biting at your heels. At least that's what the packet told me. And that's what I'm hoping for. So good luck! I'm off to work on my list....right after I finish my coffee....!
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